For most of my career, I was the only woman on the team, Manager in the department, or Executive on the club trip. Even today as a “Thought Leader” in the sales space, it’s hard to find another female voice on the mainstage lineup. 

Frankly, my “onlyness” wasn’t a second thought as I came up, but in my mid-30s,

it became apparent to me just how seldom I fit in with other women. 

I didn’t own dresses, hated Real Housewives, and I cursed like a sailor on leave. OMG, I’d been raised by packs of men in the wild expanse of the call center. And not only did I prefer the company of men, but other women didn’t want me in their pack.  

In my 40s, I experienced for the first time the power of a group of smart women. I was invited to join a group of female entrepreneurs started by Jill Konrath and Lori Richardson, and soon after I started my own #GirlsClub with the goal of seeding the next generation of female sales leaders.

And my favorite part of it now? It’s the company. Sitting around a fire with six powerful women who GET me feels life-changing.  I didn’t know I was trying to fit in until I didn’t have to try. For maybe the first time ever, I felt seen. I felt known. I felt normal. 

It took me 48 years to find my tribe, and I am NOT letting go now!  Each of these women got an invite to my house next month for my FIRST ANNUAL “Women Behaving Badly Weekend.” And I’m just getting started! (If you’re a powerful woman in sales, watch this space for exciting new announcements!)

In addition to laughing at our younger selves, comparing how we navigate mothers-in-law and soccer moms, we discuss how to lift young women, and what advice we give that we wish we could give our younger selves. Here are some of our gems: 

1. Always grab a seat at the table or pull the chair up and make room at the conference table.  You deserve to be there. 
2. Leave the happy hour at halftime.  You’ll thank me later.
3. Stop interrupting yourself! Share ideas with confidence instead! 
   1. Try, “Here’s another perspective to consider”  vs.
      “Well, I’m probably wrong and don’t take my word for it, but maybe try…”(Listen hard, you may be doing a form of this without knowing it.)
4. Keep a list of your wins. You’ll want it at raise time.
5. Raise your hand before you feel ready. You can do more than you think you can, and they’ll never come and ask you.
6. Negotiate 3 rounds. It’s normal. If you don’t do it now, you’ll resemble the high end of the pay gap in 10 years.
7. Don’t apologize for having emotions or children. If the situation calls for a tear, compassion, or time with your kids, do it with pride and be a role model for the other women in the company.
8. Find the other women. Encourage them, mentor them, shine a spotlight (and tell her about #GirlsClub if she’s not feeling ready yet. We’ll get her there fast).