Most of the incredible women I know aren’t just “bosses” on the job. They rule the kitchen, the family calendar, the Nordy’s shoe section — basically everything they touch.  

Now before you start judging yourself against this girl-boss ruler, I have a suggestion: 

Cut yourself a break instead.

Starting with Halloween, the pressure for working women during the holidays is enormous. Let me tell you, Halloween beats me every year. How can anyone make dinner, fix the last-minute costume catastrophes, put out the pumpkins, prep the candy, and throw together an outfit with comfortable walking shoes all in the one hour between quitting time and darkness!? Every year ends the same way: Me slumped over my kid’s candy, hunting Almond Joy’s, resigning to finish the wine bottle and daydreaming about being a stay at home mom and actually enjoying Halloween with my kids before they’re too old to be seen with me even while wearing masks. 

And then boom! Welcome Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Diwali, Deepavali, Kwanzaa, New Years – regardless of our affiliations, the end of year is packed tight. By now I should have finished QBRs, planned my Thanksgiving menu, ordered Holiday cards, stored away Halloween decor, made a New Year’s plan before everything is booked, bought tickets for the festival, and started my pre-holiday diet.  I’ve done two of these (not telling which…).

Does anyone out there feel the same way? Am I just a Grinch and a failure? 

Well, since starting my #GirlsClub quest for more confidence, I decided to try and re-find joy in the Holidays by better representing “me”. That’s right, ME! 

Where is the “ME” in my holiday season? 

I think we all just get busy trying to preserve traditions we aren’t sure we like, make it “perfect” for our families, and have homes that look like Frontgate catalogs that we seldom prioritize what we want. We the people, the women, the girl-bosses. NOT just we the wives, daughters, sisters and moms. 

For years I couldn’t even tell you my favorite holiday moment or tradition. It all just whizzed by in a blur of behind the 8-ball moments of catch up and failure prevention. I didn’t have time to plan, and even when I did pull off the PERFECT gift, I felt a little disappointed in the reaction it netted. That’s right, I measure the gift planning to recipient reaction ratio and ROI. Call me a shallow sales leader, I own that. 

So I’ve started a new tradition, and I cordially invite you to join me. Each year I give up on a ridiculous “should” and replace it with something just for me. That’s right, ME. 

Last year instead of sending pricey gifts with personal messages to my client list, we sent a fun video card and made a donation to charity. COVID helped me make the decision (collecting 200 addresses, anyone?), but the utter relief I felt in hitting that easy button was intoxicating! And get this – NOTHING bad happened. I purposely took the road of less effort and all that happened was gaining more time and less stress. 

OMG do other people know about this?!

Has anyone else tried this? I crossed the invisible line of perfection standardization and nothing negative happened. Should I tell people? Only the ones who won’t judge me. And the ones I like. Could I do it again? Hell yeah!

This year I’ve pre-ordered Thanksgiving to be picked up the day before. Really. Not. Cooking. Anything. Also, I ordered steak. Why? Because I like it better and I’m sick of trying to convince my kids to eat Turkey and stuffing. 

You’re welcome, me! 

Also, I plan to wear pajama pants, NOT pretend to watch football, play CLUE with the kids, open the Prosecco by noon, and maybe read a book. Know what? I may even use paper plates.

I’m such a freaking rebel.

MAN, this feels GREAT! Can I tell you how much more I’m looking forward to this holiday now? I mean really, I’ve never been a fan of this always-on-a-Thursday-and-why-the-hell-don’t-we-get-off-the-day-BEFORE holiday. Now? Bring it ON full day of eating and napping, I’m soooooo there.

So what would you punt? The traditional cranberry nobody eats? How about the perfect family picture holiday card (try this instead).

WARNING: The first time is not easy. You will automatically come up with a list of reasons why you can’t do it (“but Grandma is coming and it’s her recipe!” or “It’s just one more thing and it isn’t’ that hard, my mother-in-law will judge me…”) 

So pretend you HAVE to do it. What do you WISH you could do this holiday and what would you happily give up? 

Trust me, the relief is a bit addictive. I’m handing out commitments and responsibilities like I’m making it RAIN up in here. 

Join me.

And plan on having a better holiday for your new BFF (that’s you).