Confidence Advice

Let’s Talk About Failure

I wish we talked more about failure. Like everywhere – work, home, friends, with your kids. To build confidence, I say we must embrace it, and the bigger the better! One is because failure suffocates perfectionism, but more so because failure prevents shame. It is a natural human instinct to avoid failure. It’s also natural when we do encounter it, to internalize it. That means we hide it and bury it deep where others won’t find it. But when we don’t air out our failures, we create a deadly equation: Failure + Aloneness = Shame

Recognizing Fear

There’s a super important step in becoming your braver self that nobody talks about. It’s the recognition of when you’re playing small. It’s noticing that fear has come to sit next to you on the bleachers and is running her mouth so you don’t get on the court and play. She’s hard to notice because, in my experience, fear sounds a lot like perfectly logical reasons. Often it feels more like my old friend “busy” sat down. Or even her cousin procrastination. But fear?! 

Give Yourself A Break This Holiday Season

For years I couldn’t even tell you my favorite holiday moment or tradition. It all just whizzed by in a blur of behind the 8-ball moments of catch up and failure prevention. I didn’t have time to plan, and even when I did pull off the PERFECT gift, I felt a little disappointed in the reaction it netted. That’s right, I measure the gift planning to recipient reaction ratio and ROI. Call me a shallow sales leader, I own that.

Let’s Redefine Selfish

Were you raised to believe that selfishness was essentially the worst character trait you could have? In my household, I was taught that selfishness meant that you do not care for others. It was negative – if I was told that I was “selfish,” I knew that I had failed to show that I was kind. I knew I was a kind person and yet, I internalized this definition of selfishness. Sure, I probably was selfish at times – but what kid is kind or caring 100% of the time? 

Rise Up, Speak Up, and Collaborate

My upbringing was the perfect training for me and my challenging sales career to rise up and speak up. The qualifier is to do so in a pleasant tone. Anger never solves anything, whereas a natural smile will catch the bullies off-guard. As they allow ego to take over, we are then perfectly positioned to pose a question that they cannot answer. Accordingly, we free ourselves to proceed as we desire. The worst-case scenario is to walk away and continue doing what we believe to be right. So how does this work? 

Embracing Silence in Sales

Silence isn’t easy for most salespeople. In fact, most of us have been told, “You can talk to anyone! You should be in sales!” They are correct with their intent, but not in execution. On the surface, this means you are not shy and will not be uncomfortable talking with strangers. It means, people like you and will talk to you. Take it for the compliment it is…then leave it there.